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This is the Book We Never Wrote: Essays Transformed into Art

Updated: May 29

Twenty years ago, I wrote a collection of personal essays, each capturing a significant experience in my life. I envisioned publishing these essays under the title “Living in the Gray,” symbolizing the complex tapestry of my life – an intricate blend of compromise, questions, acceptance, mystery and the unknown – a field of gray, marked by vivid splashes of black and white. This gray area is where my most profound life lessons have presented themselves.

 

When my teenage son Ari heard about my project, he said, “Let’s do it together, mom. You write the essays and I’ll illustrate each one.” I loved the idea. Ari, whom I adopted as a young child, was an extraordinarily talented artist. I always believed the universe put us together to nurture each other’s creativity.

 

Tragically, we never got to realize this plan. Ari passed away in 2020, an unspeakable, unnatural loss. While I will always live with a broken heart, my voice is returning. The series “This is the Book We Never Wrote,” honors Ari's memory and our unfilled collaboration.


"She Took the Bitterness and Gave Me the Honey"



“She Took the Bitterness and Gave Me the Honey” is part of my series, “This is the Book We Never Wrote.” This piece explores the nuanced mother-daughter relationship, focusing on connection and separation, sacrifice, intimacy, and distance. Like everyone I have come to know and understand, my mother was a complex person. She worked tirelessly to support the family, often neglecting her own needs in the process. Looking back, I realize I needed more from her but didn't know how to ask. Today, I am profoundly grateful for the life and love she gave me.

 


For more details about this piece, CLICK HERE.









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